Gartocharn Primary at Balloch Library

Hello Gartocharn Primary!

I hear you’re soon going to be entertained by some author bloke. Who could it be, I wonder?

Ask the average person where Gartocharn is and they probably won’t know. But I do! I used to cycle through it as part of 100-mile trips that usually ended with me a) very tired and b) cycling home up Queen’s View. If you’ve ever cycled up Queen’s View you’ll know why a) and b) are related.

I’m really looking forward to seeing you all.  Now this bit is REALLY important. Tell your teachers we’ll be working incredibly hard on, eh, metaphors, grammar and syntax. (You can ask them what syntax is. They’re teachers, so they’ll definitely know.)

Whatever you do, don’t say we’ll be laughing lots and generally having a good time in the company of books.

Or that we’ll be demonstrating how we’d float across the inside of a spaceship it if was in zero gravity. Or discussing why I’ve put an action figure between 2 slices of bread. (I’ll explain.)

Keep all of that Top Secret. Okay?

For your part, perhaps you can explain why it’s Dunbartonshire but Dumbarton. There must be a reason. Whether it’s a good reason is a different matter.

Oh, and definitely no letting teachers read this aloud to you…